I realize am capable of this feeling. Too timid to admit missing my wife.

           This surely is a monkey mind squandering for peace engulfed in constant consumption of twitter feed. Hate that it can't stop. 

    Please life, get my mind to back where it was best - Thriving and excelling than gasp on somebodys win. 

       Kids are dogs showering their absolute love and a longing for our attention 

        

   

Constantly being picked and de moraled for being a lazy bum. Father just being a father correcting me, but the egoist me cant take it. I tend to pick the factual incorrections in argument more seriously and can't really help it.

      Yes sad for being disrespectful. But to be fair, in all honesty, am thinking but not moving. Thoughts are fuzzy with no actual initiation. Time to unmess, enjoy and focus.

     Not that I care for how am perceived, but hey at least i myself should self love and like how am going about daily shit.

HYPER MOBILITY AND PRO SOCIAL BEHAVIOR

Trying to be clingy and get over attached with the one. what the fuck is happening ? Even a Pms bitch handles her shit better than me (not sorry)

      You do what you love to do and now when i reflect, trips are hard. There is this meeting of new people and locales but for the first time i could not help fighting the urge to isolate from everything and everyone. The necessity to put your chin up and organize the day ahead is a new learning. 

         Even this very write up and thoughts are just a cunning way to escape from reality.

But hey, onto the next one now. 

.........................

Biryani with local rice.

.............

 From Coimbatore to Madurai

The old bugger wont allow to drive. A pledge to retire myself to farm at that age

.............

Infectious smiles, Invaluable lessons.

      

      

Last day of 20's. 

Lemon Tree Hotel, Pune : 

Months of anxiety and anticipation only to be swept off by 2 minutes of careless skim and scan. What is the point of a dissertation when you are ready to bootlick for a bounty ? Pune central building is your classic government office with clerical superiority rooted.

        Nothing kindles the inner joy like a glass facade and giant buildings as an overlook. Such a chic hotel. Only if the rates were modest though

        Flying during Corona with protective gear and Rajkumar, a genius breeder who certainly instilled a spirit of R&D will stay

It marks exactly an year this week that I moved to India. One year, infinite learnings and unlearnings. 

     No duties of a school to go or job to do, clearly an year where I retired from  routine, only to pit myself into an unknown yet ambitious territory.

    There have been one to many occasions itching me to take a pause and reflect here, but finally now. 

   

    

Every aspect of the day was a different experience. The then introvert getting validated before people , who had  nothing to do but people watching, while I was carrying a lota to defecate into the woods.

      All those flowers intricately embellished. The higher the bathukamma, the bigger was the family in status. And everybody seemed to happily accept the fact. 

     My favorite part was though to get draped in new clothes , get a dummy gun and get lost in the nature and noise.

   బెబ్బరు ముద్దా :(, how hardly am I longing for you. Should get to making it.

       

       so whats your technology ?

       Me: Am a pro Googler.

Tripped. All the idiosyncrasies of  my thought busted, I land in the same pit I constantly blabber about. Its just that I like it now ? My previous stance now seems rather farcical. It at least feels lot less far fetched of an expectation to discover the one.

Denton 1 - karthik , oaks

             2 - srinath

             3 - springhills

Jersey - 4 . astir burnt
     
             5. varun

             6. astir new

             7. astir dinesh, vamshi new

Boston - 8. santosh friend, northeastern

              9. northeaster temp

             10. tamil tambi

             11. nepal shop

             12. triyambak waaje , 8 states

             13. chinese place, hall bed , yahoo guy

Colorado -
             14. Englewood dish, shashi, rajesh

Florida -
            15. Pakistani payingGuest

            16. Indore gang

            17. Restaurant guys

             18, Vizag couple, paying Guest

            19. Hall again, falansh, gujju

 Orlando -

             20. Lake marys deloitte

             21. Universal tino.

             22. Metrowest community, Individual

Atlanta

Jacksonville - bobby anna family
North Carolina - vikas, uday
Kansas City - Rajeshwar
Melbourne - varun

 Tampa - sk, niranjan
 Edison - Akhil, Santosh
 Boston - Vishnu

 South carolina - Kotla
 Denton - Room #5
 Cottages - Smokies, Miami, Pocono mountains
 South padre, chicago, keywest





     

The sameness and dullness of everyday as James Baldwin once wrote the real trouble with living is living is so banal.

 There was a time when I used to dream this story would happen-  I see an old guy, rescue him on the road and as a reward, I get a year long free coupons to eat for free at his restaurant. Exactly what happened at Jacksonville. I meet some people who run a restaurant, they feed me all day with delicious food, a shelter to live in and a home theater to fill the timeline.
     

let me start with a reflection - After all the aspirations to be a voracious reader, vagabond, travel, business and farming, I realized life is like a blank paper, it shows what you write on it. There is something about coding. It logical than anything that you do in life. It takes no bias, returns no value just because you have initialized it with an opinion. Its an input output, precisely for the condition that you put in, no less no more.

    The key is to keep busy to avoid getting lost in the void ? Is that why we all work ?  Money might be the biggest motivation and there is something beyond that which I can't comprehend for now. 

            

Last time I blogged and had a reflective on my journey, never did I think I would be visiting many places and my life would change a bit.

           Toured places, told a girl that I loved her and bought a car. I am starting to love this uncertainity in my life and sorting out the possibilities. The best lessons that I learnt are you direct yourself, there is only one way - don't belittle yourself, learn more, take a step.Sitting there doesn't get you anything.

          One downside in my travel here, am feeling a genuine hatred towards following other people's lives. Is a confusion to show compassion or not go any extent, any least bit that could hurt you.

         All said, its your life - IT SHOULD BE ABUNDANT, before you could share anything with others. Abundance in the sense of self satisfaction and very little emotions that I have. Its very difficult to be less consumeristic and materialistic in this life. But am trying, trying hard to grow more and back up myself.

  I will have to maintain talking to myself more here, after all this is the only place where am talking to the real me devoid of all the influences from exterior.

Its time that I realize what I'm becoming. It can be only easy to not care when you reflect more. Hone your skills before there is an urge to achieve something.

There is literally nothing inhibiting my progress except me staying still and getting lost in the daily crap. No more counting dollars , go count the stars and get lost in your own thoughts. Ofcourse, all the things that you dream of are only some attributes of a good life. No point when you don't live a life at all.

Place: In Edison, after the first job.

Time: Not long before I blog again from a different city in a new job hopefully.

Not long before I realize programming is not my forte and I will have to stay calm when shit gets

real. There is always a need.  Once you reach that core , you are with greed for more.

Being too good to people should not be your only choice beacause there are people never too old

enough for their age.


New roommates- Basically India Wale.

Hanging out with uncles beach_walks, bowling and cineema.

After neponset landing which was like hilariously close and okay ..this Nepalese shelter is now a breeding place for my thoughts on how this life goes on. The food and VERY WISE Roman aur dilli reminding me of my Mulk- (native)
        The UBER costly LYFT is one good example and realisation of how easily I could be cajoled into doing things- tipped him 40$. I should not but I don't know why I keep thinking of that- Might be its the stingy person in me dominating the other generous side.

Probably Boston tea party was the only thing I knew about American independence and Deloitte was the only company that sent it's employees to my junior college for its promotion. Now here I am. It really is great knowing that vivekananda came here because it was cheaper than most other places in USA  REALLY ? Home of MIT and Harvard. The biggest thing I have done after coming to US might be driving myself to Boston from edison in a snow stor Car stuck in the snow, me stuck with unfriendly/brainy people , commuting in a subway are some of the things that would stay
        In an uncertain shelter with an uncertain job and things can only get better from here. Be it the weather or job. The first month of the job didn't really live up to the hype of scaring me. Hope it stays the same. Going to Berkley street for a design discussion at Deloitte main office in downtown and a chance to Brief Indian folks about the project module are definitely surprising and I don't know what helped me to pass them.