Visa android and am so lost in thoughts

The very first reaction of getting a visa approved was me happy but not like something achieved because "If Anyone can get it I dont need it" kind of feeling filled me in
           Can I ever be hospitable to people like vatsav and Rajesh are..can I ever get to parties and eat uninvited with vivek after going to U.S.
            That android I lost is making me lost.I always thoght its easy to detach for me from family friends and luxuries..but I have to admit its difficult
                              Booked a flight on august first..but that was a conscious decision to go abroad..nothing to feel bad about or miss things like they are now